A retired guy is riding his Harley down the California highway when the Lord stops him and says"You have been a good guy all these years and tried to do the right thing most of the time so I would like to reward you with anything you wish"
The guy thinks for a minute and says"How about a bridge to Hawaii so I could ride over there anytime I wanted?"
The Lord says"I can do it but can you imagine the supports down to the bottom of the Pacific,the concrete the steel. I would have thought better of you.That is very materialistic and selfish.Maybe you should think of something that would greatly benefit mankind as a whole.
After thinking for a while!"Your right" says the guy."I and all men would like to understand women.Why she cry's,what she feels when giving me the silent treatment,What she feels when she says nothing is wrong,what she feels when she snaps and complains when I try to help.How can we make them truly happy?
The Lord replies"Do you want that bridge one lane or two?
More
More of Wally World
cute guy
Wally's people
Statement
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not yelling and screaming in pain,like the passengers in his car
Bye Boy
Another problem with Deforestation
OH DEAR!
If a Deaf person goes to court
Is it still called a Hearing?
OH DEAR!
A French tourist asks a Newfoundlander a question
"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off the boat"
The Newfoundlander reply's
"If they fell forward they would still be in the xoxux# boat"
Yup
Sights
The wheels and tires cost more than the car
A woman goes to the doctor just all black and blue
The doc asks her"What happened?"
She says"Every time my husband goes out and gets drunk he comes home and beats me to a pulp".
The Doc says"I have a guaranteed cure for that.
every time he comes home drunk you gargle with Chamomile Tea.Just gargle and gargle.
Two weeks later she goes back to the Doc looking all renewed and fresh and tells him his cure really worked."when he gets home drunk I just gargle and gargle with the Chamomile Tea and he leaves me alone.
The Docs says"See how amazing things are when you keep your mouth shut"
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests she is pregnant unless you can see a baby emerging at that specific moment.
another sign
Oh Dear
You should never confuse your career with your life.
More signs
The Four Bottles of Life
Damn-I'm on the 3rd one already
Damn Cats
Always remember this
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator
.
Signs
Experience
Experience is a wonderful thing
It allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again
Old Age
Junk
Junk is something you keep for years and throw away 1 week before you need it
How to get rid of unwanted guests
OPPORTUNITIES ALWAYS LOOK BETTER AFTER THEY HAVE PASSED
For those of you who work
Middle age
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Another Hmmmmmm
Flyin low
Diet
A Balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Hmmmmmm
Remember
EAT WELL-STAY FIT
DIE ANYWAY
Shy cats in Florida
Got er done
Patriotism
sometimes it just brings a tear to your eye
Realistic Wedding Cake
Did you know?
If you look like your passport picture,you probably need the vacation.
Important Rule
A person who is nice to you ,but rude to the waitress, is not a nice person
This is very important.Pay attention,It never fails.
Games
So True
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
Nerve
Sunday comment
Going to church does not make you a Christian,anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.....
Always Remember This
Don't worry about what other people think.
Because they don't do it very often
Important Viewing
It started yesterday on Speed
Important Fact
Never,under any circumstance,take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Sights you see
It says"never loan your car to a woman"
More sights
Scene from Last week
"Just stay there until your time-out is up"
Mike's new Computer from Costco
Kids on the Beach
Everyones Goal
Finally made it
Sighted
More sights
Sights you see on the road
Always wear your seatbelt
The only two kids we have not seen on this trip
Jeff & Olivia-Happy New Year
Peg preffered the Tackle
Chris and I,well ???
Guess Who?
How true today
HO HO OH
Christmas
No comment
awww
Mean while back home
Could not resist
Oh Dear
Just a thought
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will!
Is that considered rape or shop lifting?
So True
Mythical and Deep-----Beautiful
A man asked an American Indian what his wife's name was.He replied "She name Four Horses.The white man said" That is a very strange name,what does it mean?"The Indian replied "Old Indian name meaning Nag Nag Nag Nag"
A day in court
Judge-After reviewing this case I have decided to give your ex-wife $975.00 per week.
Mr Smith-Your honor I think that is very fair and every once in a while I will try and kick in a few bucks myself.
Halloween
Retirement
I like this one
Think about it
Did you ever wonder why?
If you blow in your dog's face it gets mad at you.
But if you take him for a ride he sticks his head out the window.
GOLDEN
First Cousin Russ and Me with Olympic Gold
POT OF GOLD
they say there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but in this case it was just a pile of shit
Mr Moose meets Mr Moose
FUNK'S GREAT EGG
New Brunswick
Thought
All of us should take a lesson from the Weather.
It pays no attention to criticism
More Woes
Oh Dear
Thought for the day
Never take life seriously,cause
No one ever gets out alive
Two of life's greatest Qualities
Patience & Wisdom
Swine Flu Update
If you wake up looking like this-STAY HOME
Tripletts
The Good
Tripletts
The Bad
Tripletts
The Royal
Blonde
A blonde pushes her car into a service station & tells the mechanic"it just died"
After a few minutes it's running perfect
"So what's the story" askes the blonde
"Just crap in the carb" replies the technition
The blonde asks "oh! so how often do I have to do that?
Just a thought
I used to eat a lot of natural foods till I learned that most people die of natural causes
Richard you are going to have to figure out some way to meet Kyle....
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